While helping a friend move this weekend, I had a most enlightening (?) discussion with a brother on why black men are likely to date outside the race.
His argument: Educated black men live and work in areas with few black women. Thus, you date who is available. For example, he lives in a predominantly white area, and he works as a teacher in a Hispanic community. To see a black woman, he has to drive and go and look for one. According to him, it's simply a matter of accessibility. I rephrased, "Laziness??" We compromised on "convenience."
My argument: Da hell?
His argument: To further complicate issues, in his opinion, the black community is broken. We don't know how to talk to and love one another--not like persons of other communities, especially Hispanic. So he seemed to imply that the search, even if undertaken, was not worth it.
My argument: Da HELL?!?!
At first, I was very disheartened by his words. This guy is very eligible on paper--tall, handsome, educated (finance degree, MBA). And he is saying that brothers basically can't be bothered to work to find us, because odds are, even if they do, it won't work out anyway. But the more we spoke, the more I convinced myself that he MUST be speaking for himself or for a small minority of men whom I don't want anyway. Now mind you, we leave in a metropolitan area with large pockets of black men AND women just 15-20 minutes in either direction. I mean, if you're not even willing to drive a few extra minutes to find me, what does that say about the level of work you would put into maintaining any relationship that we did have?
Please tell me I'm right. Tell me that this dude is in the minority and things aren't this dismal. Please. I beg of you.