The other day, I heard some curious words coming out of my mouth, and I had to laugh. Sometimes, I'm talking to my kid, and the things I say would sound completely insane in any other context, but as a parent, not only are they normal, but they're perfectly common among my parenting peers. Here are four things I have said, or overheard said, as a parent, that make me shake my head:
1. "I am all done with Po..ke..mon! Pokemon is done!"
My six year old recently used his allowance savings to purchase a pack of Pokemon cards. Now everytime I look around, he can't walk, talk, eat, or listen for looking at the friggin Pokemon cards. Finally, I'd had enough, and through closed teeth, I pronounced the end of Pokemon (or at least a 20 minute break.) Immediately after uttering the first drawn out "Pokemon," I realized that "Pokemon" is quite possibly the most idiotic thing you can say slowly and sternly. But as a parent, it was so necessary. So I said it again.
2. "Don't put that [grass, rock, stick, etc] in your [mouth, nose, ear, etc]!!"
From the moment that their motor skill development allows, until who knows when, if they can hold it, they will try to put it in some orifice. Unless the "it" is a green vegetable and the "orifice" is a mouth, that is, (for my son at least.) :-/
3. "Yay! Poopy!!!"
There are at least two occasions when I have loudly and excitedly celebrated poop with all the fanfare I could muster. One was after an extended bout of constipation, when I was on the verge of having to administer a suppository. O_o Never did I think I would be this into someone else's digestion and bowels, but alas, hello, motherhood.
The other time was during the first successful poop into the toilet/potty, thus signaling the beginning of the end of diaper stankness. A victory indeed for him and me. Certainly worth celebrating.
4. "No more roaring, please. That's enough of being a dinosaur."
I overheard a dad telling this last one to his little guy in Chick-Fil-A last week. The man was so serious. From the boardroom to the playroom -- He had on his shirt and tie, was holding his blackberry and kneeling down to his 3 year old's eye level, explaining the need for the boy to end his reptilian ways. Bet he didn't see that sentence in his future when he woke up that morning.
When have you found yourself sounding both utterly ridiculous and completly rational at the same time? What are some of your Things Only a Parent Would Say?