Some months ago my friend asked if I had dated a single father before. I thought for a minute, and replied no. Then, I remembered otherwise, and interrupted him, saying, "Oh wait, yes, I did. Except his kid lived in Chicago and he lived in Louisiana. " "That doesn't count," was his response, he himself a single father with joint custody. "A man who would voluntarily leave his child like that is not a real dad. And that's not the type of father you want around your own son."
Food for thought. Can a man be a long-distance dad and still be considered a good dad?
If the question were about moms, there would be little debate, I imagine. I remember when this guy told me that his ex-wife had a daughter whom she left in Minnesota when she moved down to marry him. I thought, "What kind of mother does that," immediately calling into question her worth as a mom. And yet, it's become pretty acceptable in our society for a dad to live elsewhere.
Obviously, being physically present does not in itself a good dad make. There are plenty of dads around whose families wish they would go somewhere else. But the question is "Does being away make one a bad dad?" And if not, why is leaving a child so frowned upon when a mom does it? Does not a child need one parent as much as the other? Or are dads disposable?